I base my team name grades off of the following criteria:
1. Funny: Did it make me laugh? Chuckle? blow air out of my nose?
2. Relevant: Does it use your name or the name of someone on your team? Are they a relevant player?
3. Original: Have I heard it before? Did you use it last year?*
4. Picture: Is it funny? Is it relevant? Is it just that Yahoo cap or Jersey?
*Sometimes this can work in your favor. If you choose to repeat a name year after year I will ridicule you at first for not being original, BUT if you hold on to that name throughout the ridicule you can kind of make it a trademark thing (prime example being Johnny's "The Young Guns"), which ultimately is really cool and I have to respect.
Team Name Grades
-'Richie', Richie. The more I think about this one the more I find it funny, like ironically funny. He clearly set it when he first joined last year to clarify who took over ownership of that team (a veteran fantasy move), but then he just left it like that. For a whole year! It's relevant because it's his name I guess, and I don't think I've ever seen it before last year, so somewhat original. And the picture is the lazy aforementioned Yahoo jersey. So this is a strange case where he hits most of the criteria, however it wasn't on purpose. The picture sucks, it's a repeat of last year's name, and it's already not funny anymore.Final Grade: F
-'Neil before the King', Jeremy. Slight chuckle from me, very fantasy relevant name (he worked 2 names in there! Bonus points!), and pretty decent pic of King Felix celebrating a W. It's pretty original, if only for using 2 names. Also I love when you can use your best player/one of your keepers to name your team. Only docking points because it's not laugh out loud funny. I'm giving this a solid A-.
-'Gettin' Miggy Wit It', Eddie. Kinda funny when I first saw it, in a '90's Will Smith lol' kinda way.
Perka is going on 3 years now with this name, defintely not enough to fall under the 'trademark' rule exception, so very unoriginal. Miggy has been his best player since the league began, so very very relevant. As for the picture, he doesn't even have the generic Yahoo cap and Jersey! It's just a silhouette of a normal looking Yahoo guy! Terrible! The only thing I like is using Cabrera in the team name...Gotta give it a D
-'Laser Show So Relax', Brad. It was funny when he said it 5 years ago, and still holds a little bit of weight around here. It's relevant because Pedroia is on his team and this is one of his most famous quotes, also because it's Sox related and Brad is probably the biggest Sox fan in the league. Generic Yahoo jersey picture...weak. Finally, the quote is wrong! Laser show, Relax. That's it! little bit of Googling could have saved you from this Bradley, I've gotta give it a C-.
-'Precious CarGo', Russ. Yes I will grade my own thanks very much. Not haha funny but it has an underlying message of 'my best outfielder is made of fine china and porcelain'. Relevant because Gonzalez is going on his 5th year as part of my team, and I've used his name as inspiration many times in the past. I wouldn't post it if I didn't think it was original, I thought it up myself. Used a generic 'Carlos Gonzalez is injured' pic, it fits the theme, but it's not that funny. Giving myself a generous B.
-'PEDex', Mark. This will be the fourth year of Mark using PEDex, so it's approaching trademark status. This was a solid name choice when he had A-Rod and Braun and a bunch of other steroid users at the peak of their careers, but now it's less so. The humor of the name has worn off (and there wasn't much to begin with), and steroids in general are a much less relevant topic in the game today. It was pretty original at the time he made it I'll give him that, and the picture is certainly relevant. Like I said, this name doesn't quite fall under the trademark rule yet (and does anyone really want it to?) so I have to bash it up a bit. C-.
-'Bay of Puigs', Dan. Not all that funny. Puig is definitely the type of guy you want to name your team after so it's pretty relevant. Terribly unoriginal, you will find this name on every site out there. And no picture, giving this a D-.
-'Curse of the Pujols', Pflanz. Clearly hasn't changed his name yet since last year, and definitely no longer relevant, I'll get to you next round Pflanz, F.
-'50 Shades of Gray', Eric. Pretty funny, very relevant and topical in terms of timely references. Not one of the premier players on the team, so have to dock a few points for that. The picture is great. Not an action shot, just a headshot of an innocently smiling Sonny Gray planted next to a pun on his name and a sexy novel. The contrast made me chuckle. I'll give it a C.
-'The Young Guns', John. The only time John changed his name was when he went from 'Young Gunz' to 'The Young Guns' in 2011 a la the Devil Rays dropping the devil from their name. He won the championship that year. It was never funny, it was never relevant, it was never original, and the picture sucks. All hail the trademark rule, he better not change it, it's an A.
-'F*ck Yu', Greg. This one made me laugh legitimately because of the situation it's referencing. The Darvish news coming on the day of the draft was pretty bad, and picturing a pissed off Greg typing in his team name made me crack up. It's relevant in terms of players and news, and although it's not super original, I like how he censored it for the protection of the league, can't say I've seen that done before on a team name. No picture, but this is still one of the better names out there as of now. I'm giving him a B+
-'Kids Back', Andy. Another trademark team! Andy has had the 'Kids Back' moniker for 5 years now. I don't know how or why it started, but it sure is original. Relevancy is out the window here for a trademark team, so he's good there. And then the classic Griffey SI picture to top it off, gotta give him an A.
So if you're team name is good, go treat yourself to an extra bag of Fritos from the vending machine. If it sucks, change it before you get burned again in round 2!
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