John's Wicked Biased Pre-Season Rankings

by John “Johnny Champion” DeMovellan

The 2013 baseball season is finally upon us!  Thank you Andy for the best draft location around and to Keeves for all the pizza.  The draft went extremely well (except for Eddie taking forever), the weather was beautiful, and everyone was actually there. As for improvements to the league I suggest we get a wicked awesome trophy, preferably, something like the Stanley Cup so I can obnoxiously drink out of it whenever around league members.  Before I continue with my pre-season rankings I will say that this year was more difficult than usual as pretty much everyone has a legitimate chance in making the playoffs (we all know its luck from there).  Anyway, welcome Richie and Bryan to the Franchise and just so you have some background as to what has happened in the past…here is a brief recap (sorry Russ).

CHAMPIONSHIPS/REGULAR SEASON WINNERS

2008-Mark beat Russ 7-3 in championship…Russ had 1^st seed with 132-79-9 record.

2009-Mark beats Zack 10-0…Russ had 1^st seed with 140-72-8 record.

2010-Mark beats Russ with use of a questionable tiebreaker…John had 1^st seed with a 128-84-8 record.

2011-Dan beats Russ 6-4…John had 1^st seed with 139-71-10 record.

2012-John beats Zhou 6-4…John had 1^st seed with 124-84-12 record.

PFLANZ TRADES-See Russell’s post “Some Keeper Facts” for other keeper trades

(2008) Pflanz trades Albert Pujols* and Tom Gorzelanny to Russell for Corey Hart and Nick Swisher…                                                        *Russ has kept Pujols since

(2008) Pflanz trades Ryan Braun* to Mark for Carlos Beltran…

*Mark has kept Braun since

(2008) Planz trades Cliff Lee* to Eddie for James Loney…

*Cliff Lee won AL Cy Young that year going 22-3

(2008) Pflanz trades Hideki Matsui and Nick Swisher to Matt Pru for CC Sabathia!*…

            *Pflanz has kept CC since

(2009) Pflanz trades Rickie Weeks and Zack Greinke to Mark for Mike Aviles and Jonathan Sanchez   …*Greinke won Cy Young that year with a 2.16 ERA

 Ranks after the jump...

My Wicked Biased Power Rankings

  1.      The World Champion Young Guns

B.J. and Justin Upton are not only my team again but are on the same MLB team this year!  Pitching is super sketchy but apparently that’s the way I like it.

Love- Everyone except the hated

Hate- Gordon Beckham (that bitch will be dropped soon), Sandoval

Steal-Vance Worley at 229!

  2.      Pedex

Mark’s team has a promising outlook with newcomers such as Goldschmidt and Rizzo backed up by strong core of keepers (Posey, Braun, Bruce) along with ageless veterans Hunter and A. Ramirez.  Pitching is solid with Price, Gallardo, and potential for Halladay to regain his form.  My biggest issue is that every time I have talked to him about fantasy baseball he tells me how he feels really good about this year…I get it mark you have 3 championships and only have 1.
            Love- Goldschmidt

Hate-De Aza

Steal-Halladay at 90, Utley at 199

  3.      Cargo Fuck Yourself

Russell was pleasantly surprised to find Wainwright at 8 overall and was pumped to have R.A. Dickey at 17.  Ill be honest its weird that his first two picks were pitchers and it’s making me uncomfortable talking this much about his pitching. We know how good his keepers are, but my biggest issue about this team is that his hitting could suffer with the questionable health of older players such as Laroche and Ortiz along with lack of production from his streaky players (Gomez, Espinosa, Weeks, Rasmus).  Russell’s keepers are awesome so his team will be fine, but his draft wasn’t very Russell like.

Love- Aoki

Hate- C. Gomez

Steal- Fujikawa at 233, Aoki at 128

  4.      Gonzo

Dan’s team is SOLID…so SOLID that every single player is in the top 200.  Oh yeah, out of his 25 players there are only 5 outside the top 150…SOLID

Will Dan be able to survive the lofty expectations!?!?
            Love- Lawrie

Hate- D. Jennings

Steal-Chrisitan Bale at 145

  5.      Getting’ Miggy With it

Since he finally made a draft the Perkinator was able to assemble a team that could wreak havoc.  His pitching looks good with starters Verlander and Sale and closers Kimbrel, Frieri, and Perkins.  I thought he reached for Headley at 44, but other than that his hitting is strong with Howard looking primed for a comeback along with some exciting young players (Perez, Miller, Brown, Profar).  In effect, if you had to pick your best 5 players with selecting 2 hitters, 2 starting pitchers, and a closer his would be as follows; Cabrera, Kemp, Verlander, Sale, Kimbrel….FUCK

            Love- Chris Sale

            Hate- E. Aybar at 53, D. Fister, A. Rodriguez (he sucks)

Steal-R. Howard at 92, L. Berkman at 164

  6.      Starship Bloopers

Offense is solid. Pitching is solid.  Wait what? This isn’t Dan’s team?  Cousin Keeves finally has really good keepers and is eyeing the playoffs for the second year in a row!  Last year his championship was beating Russ.  This year Keeves is eyeing the actual trophy (we need to get one) and will be a team to watch out for.

            Love- A. Gordon, Kuroda

Hate- Crawford (hurts me to say it)

Steal- closers at 153 and 160

  7.      Kids Back

I know Andy loves hitting but 19 of them?  Anyway his speed and power will be his obvious strengths this year and when Jeter comes back he will see an increase in team average.  The X-Factors here are Josh Hamilton and Mark Teixeira.  Andy needs Hamilton to stay on the field (L.A. has way more drugs than Arlington, Texas) and be a productive hitter for the length of season.  Also, he needs Alvarez to reach his power potential and for Teixeira to be healthy before July.  His pitching has talent in Hamels, Greinke, Kennedy, C.J. Wilson, and closer Brandon League.  However, Andy needs to complete his staff in order to become a full balanced attack and a playoff contender.

            Love- Phillips, Wieters,

Hate- Teixiera at 118

Steal- Belt at 142, Pierre at 243

  8.      The Price is Wright

I love Prince Fielder and David Wright and if Encarncaion keeps up last year’s production then Brad has quite the triple headed monster.  I think his outfield is about as average as it gets with Choo, Pence, Victorino, and Crisp.  However, his pitching looks promising with Weaver, Lee, Latos along with the duo of Rodney and Janssen will compete will anyone.

Love- Kendrick, Montero

Hate-Choo, Pence, Victorino

Steal-M. Latos at 23, M. Young at 143

  9.      Smokin Cespedes

First of all, who the fuck is Jordan Pecheco?  Outside of this mistake I like his keepers, pitching and his outfield.  However, I don’t like his positional players outside of his second basemen and I think his lack of versatility could give him some issues.  Greg’s team will go as far as Harper, Cespedes, and Jones will take him.

 Love- Cespedes, Altuve, Lester, relievers

Hate- Middlebrooks at 43?

Steal- McCann at 246

  10.  Chubbs for Stubbs

Votto and Castro are great but Zobrist and Sabathia are underwhelming.  This team has some good players but, overall very boring.  His pitching looks to be the highlight as it looks as though he could win saves and k’s any given week.  In the end, I was personally disappointed in Pflanz’s draft this year because I enjoy his shit talk and how he stirs up the pot.  Don’t count him out though because he usually finds a way to be in the playoff mix.

Love- Zimmerman, Medlen, Hammel, closers

HATE- Stubbs (really Pflanz?), Segura, Pagan, Ruggiano, Plouffe, Cozart

Steal- Bud Norris at 244

  11.  Strasburg w/cheese

Welcome to league Bart!  Okay, now that the greetings are out of the way he is officially a member and the proper introduction can commence…as he can probably notice how far down he is on my power rankings, it is not a nice one.  No one doubts the starting pitching that Bart brings to the table with Strasburg, Kershaw, and Cain.  However, as much as I like the Allen Craig pick in the first round I did not like the majority of his draft as I felt he reached for a lot of players including Mauer at 14, Martinez at 35, Uggla at 59, Cruz at 62, and Freese at 83.  To be fair those guys have potential to play at a high level.  I actually liked the second half of his draft more than the first half as he collected the exciting Bradley Jr., Swisher, Buchholz, among others.  Good luck this year.

Love- SP, Craig, Beltran

Hate- Pedro Ciriaco?, Jayson Werth, Mauer at 14

Steal- Buchholz at 110, Youk at 134, Morneau at 206

  12.  Emilio Erectionfacio

Welcome 2.0 to the league and good luck this season.  I apologize on behalf of the league that your keepers suck as much as they do, but I just want you to know that we were all as dumbfounded by Zack’s exit as much as Georgetown was with FGCU’s downtown Sherwood Brown.  Eric did do a nice job of gathering some good young talent in the draft and with your fantasy baseball résumé I am sure you will be just fine.  Also, if you do end up in last place this year you can blame it all on Zack and Eric.

Love-Darvish, Kipnis, Moore, Santana, Johnson

Hate-Soriano at 52, Revere

Steal-Lynn at 124, Cuddyer at 148