Opening the Flood Gates

The people's thirst for fantasy and baseball chatter and news was great, but the Commish's vast oceans of baseball knowledge and time was not enough to satisfy. So he chose to open the flood gates, let us peons loose, and give us the power to write blogs.

Here I go then, while in the past I have relied purely on the incomparable Doug Mirabelli for almost all of my baseball humor and blog posts, I thought I would start some sort of weekly Top 5 list. While not the most original idea of all time I know I can stick to this for a weekly blog.

In this weeks addition I am going to list the Top 5 Ways to Make Baseball More Watchable:



5. Replace All Foul Ball People With Models

Take a look at these two guys, hobbling out for the shift to shag foul balls down the third and first base lines.

"Anyone seen my Cialis?"

What in the hell is baseball thinking here? This seems to be the most obvious of all things baseball could change. Rather than looking at these old guys breaking hips and loosing their wigs diving for Posey's ground balls, would you not rather watch some hot girl? In baseball the average lifespan of a ball is seven pitches, that's a lot of foul balls and a lot of air time for some model desperate for work.

This team has the right idea

 4. Put In a Pitch Clock

I am sick and tired of watching the back and forth between pitchers, catchers, and batters. It is a never ending circle of touching jockstraps, shaking heads, and calling timeout. Simple fix, put in a ten second pitch clock, you don't pitch in that time frame or are not lined up in the box, its a ball or strike respectively. Hopefully then we can avoid people like Nomar making the game last twelve hours by re-strapping his gloves.

Yeah I knew you wouldn't like it Nomar

3. Cut the Fat

How long have teams like the Padres, Pirates, and now the Astros sucked. Sure there are bursts of greatness and one good year, but too often they don't spend enough money and lose all their superstars. I think if a team has a losing record for 10 years or more, it is time to say goodbye. There are plenty of people out there who would love to start new franchises and would inject some life into the MLB.

This would be great for baseball

2. Speaking of Cubans.....Lift the Embargo on Cuba
Yeah, the MLB may not have much control over foreign policy, but imagine the influx of talent the league would get if all of the sudden athletes did not have to sneak out of that country on life rafts and dingies. Some of the leagues most exciting young talent is from Cuba ( see Aroldis Chapman). This is a largely untapped baseball mecca, and a steady flow of Cuban players would be great for the league. (Side note related to Cubans, why the hell is J.D. Drew's brother starting over Jose Iglesisas?)

Is that you Yoenis?

1. More Steroids
You heard me right, bring back the juicers. Those were the glory days of baseball, absolutely massive guys mashing home runs all over the field. Steroids took a loser like Mark McGwire and made him an unbelievable power hitter. Who cares about the past, put a seperate section in the record books and lets bring back the roids. Nothing I miss more than watching people hit balls on to the Mass Pike in home run derbies. People will say, what about pitching, what about that aspect of the game? Give them roids too, look at Pedro, Clemens, Rivera, so many pitchers made careers in the steroid era, they can do it again. The game was faster, more exciting, and overall more watchable.

Awesome

Boring